Thursday, June 28, 2012

2012 is a Bittersweet Symphony

I want to start this week's post out with the words to one of my favorite songs. It seems fitting since this is the title of the post. The song is Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. It's an older song that most people probably know. Just in case you aren't familiar here's a link to the video on YouTube.

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah

No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no(fading away)

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now


Why did I pick the title of this song for a blog post? Well if you've followed my blog recently then you probably know I have had some good and bad stuff going on this year. This last week was an especially bittersweet one. 

My family and I were packing to move into our new home finally and very excited and stressed about all that entails in itself. Wednesday afternoon I was on the receiving end of one of those phone calls that you never want to get. It was my husband telling me that our 7-month-old puppy Ruby (affectionately referred to as Ruby Roo or Rubester) was hit by a car. I was shocked to hear this and immediately left my office to race to the animal hospital. My daughter had let Ruby off of her leash for a moment to untangle it and Ruby darted for the road, which was very uncharacteristic of her. My daughter heard a thud and the scream of our poor little pup. Ruby had been hit by a random 20-year-old girl. One of our old neighbors saw what happened and was kind enough to help my daughter. They drove Ruby to three different animal hospitals. Yes, three! The first two were closed. Ruby was dying as she layed on my daughter's lap in the car bleeding and gasping for air. The poor little angel. She died shortly after arriving at the animal hospital. My daughter was an emotional mess. My husband said he'd meet me in the parking lot of the animal hospital. His eyes said it all as he walked over to me. I saw a tear and I just lost it. No! No dammit! Not my little Ruby Roo! 

After a few minutes of breaking down I collected myself to go in and see her. Lying there with her pretty brown eyes open but no breathe I realized how fragile life is. We had lost part of the family. This dog was my heart. She had become my daughter, my best friend, my favorite pet ever. It felt like I was having a bad dream. Unfortunately this really happened. It's been just over a week now and we really miss her. My last memory of her was my husband and I taking her for a walk to the school that was near our old house and running with her in the field. She had a blast that night and so did we.

She will never be forgotten. RIP my sweet little Ruby Roo. You brought us much happiness and fun for the short time we had you. Hoping I get to see you again someday my dear friend.

Then on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, we moved into our new home on Thursday! A house we waited for months to get. The day after suffering such a huge loss. Talk about bittersweet. There were ups and downs with the whole house buying process and it stressed us out the to the max but we are in now! There is so much to do but we are absolutely in love with it! It already feels like home. It's a place for us to retreat after long days or bad days and a place for us to grow our love and perhaps someday our family. Maybe we'll even find our next Ruby once we're settled.

Finally, just a quick update on the foot. I actually managed a 3.9 mile trail run on Sunday and felt decent. Still somewhat painful after but getting better every week. So I made the decision along with my coach and therapist to race this weekend. Just a sprint tri as I am not ready for much more with regards to the run. But it's a step forward. And I have to accept where I am in the season and in life. Sometimes it is a bittersweet symphony. This life.


  1. What a roller coaster!

    Honor Ruby's memory and enjoy the new house with all you've got.

  2. Thanks Jamie! We will. Picking up her ashes on Saturday and plan on having them in the house so that part of her is always there with us.

  3. So sorry for your loss Pam :( that is an incredibly emotional event and I can't imagine what you are going through.

    All the best to your family as you move into the new house and start making memories there!

    1. Alyssa thank you for the kind words. We are moving on with Ruby in our hearts!